A day in the life

Today was a day like any other. I got to work early to try to get ahead of the never ending world I like to call healthcare. No matter how overwhelmed or stressed out I am there is always something or someone there to put a smile on my face though.

As always I was greeted by "A" sitting outside my office yelling at his cane, but quickly looked up to let me know that “the man had been in my office & had taken some of the papers." He then went on to let me know that today was Halloween. Hint! Hint! I thought. So I asked him if he was at my door to trick or treat which he thought was pretty funny and then promptly said “Yes I am!” He’s my little chocoholic. After getting his chocolate bar he informed me that he had left me a check for a “million trillion dollars” in the pillowcase at home & not to forget that it was there. He then proceeded to head back down to his room to make sure that “the man” had not taken any of his papers while he was gone.     ~“A" is schizophrenic.

As the day went on like clockwork “BOB! BOB! Where the hell are you at BOB?” Oh! Must be about 3pm. “D” spends every day looking for “BOB!” her husband that has passed almost 20 years ago. After the usual hour or so of yelling for “BOB!” it got pretty quiet which was somewhat surprising for her at that time of day. I was informed by one of our therapist who had went in her room to put away her roommates splint that “D” was in rare form. The therapist had knocked on the door to announce herself and “D” had told her to “Come in! Don’t mind us. Bob & I are just making love. Bob says Hi.”     ~”D” has Alzheimer’s Dementia

LOL! God I love my job! ~

Men & women

 

Largely because of the works of Freud, sexual thoughts and behaviors are still considered to be major influences on contemporary life in general. The following are just some of the few instances that show the differences between men and women.

Communication between men and women as we know is very different. Men have a tendency to observe a situation and use conversation to negotiate their status. Talk for men is often a way to preserve independence. Women use conversation to negotiate closeness and intimacy. For women, talking is the essence of connection. I tell you what I’m thinking, you tell me what you are thinking, and we become close. Men however tend to take this request for conversation as a request for advice and therefore respond with a solution. When a man offers this kind of information the woman often feels as if he is trying to diminish her problem or cut her off. For men they see this as being supportive. In order for women to understand men they must remember that men’s communication is all about status.

            Emotions are also very different between the sexes. Women typically have a larger limbic system than men, which allows them to be more in touch with their feelings and better able to express them, which promotes bonding with others. The down side to this larger deep limbic system is that it also opens women up to depression. Women attempt suicide three times more than men. Yet, men kill themselves three times more than women, in part, because they use more violent means of killing themselves. Women tend to use overdoses with pills while men tend to either shoot or hang themselves. In addition men are generally less connected to others than are women. Disconnection from others increases the risk of completed suicides. Men are also far less likely to seek help for any mental health disorder.

Men think about sex at least once a day while only one quarter of women reports this frequency.  Men are very rigid and specific about whom they become aroused by, who they want to have sex with, who they fall in love with. Women's sex drives are more influenced by social and cultural factors. It is not that men do not seek intimacy, love, and connection in a relationship, just as women do. They just view the role of sex differently. Women first look for a man that they can communicate with on an emotional level. For men sex is the connection. Sex is the language men use to express their tender loving vulnerable side; it is their language of intimacy.

The biggest task that faces men and women is to learn to accept their differences, avoid taking their differences as personal attempts to frustrate each other, and to compromise whenever possible. Although a man or women can act in consideration of the other’s needs this is not necessarily rewarding and honest. Holding the benefit of another above our own is rewarding. But from time to time, and more often for most of us, it is important to be our self and to be accepted, and not to be the source of distress and disappointment in the lives of people we love.